Wednesday, March 2, 2011

ABC Distributing: More hits than misses

Alright Stop!  Collaborate and listen!  I'm back with a brand new invention edition of ABC Catalog:  Hits and Misses.  The first installment was very snarky, so you may be surprised to see that this edition is full of positive feedback!  I have some good days :)  I'll be sure to throw in some snark too, though, just so I don't break character.

We begin with an item I fell in love with at Plow and Hearth a few years ago.  It's a garden bench that you can turn into a knee pad just by flipping it over - versatile for different gardening situations.  I didn't buy it at the time for 2 reasons:  1 - I don't do outside work, that's Dave's job.  2 - It was $45.  No thanks.  Here's the P&H version:

ABC has an almost-identical version for $15.95!  And this one has a pouch on the side for storage of seeds and tools and such...bonus!
^^^^that's what she said!

Next up is the bronze kitchen collection - each piece is only $4.95 and the set of 5 items would be around $20 since the napkin and paper towels come as a set!  This would make a great, inexpensive housewarming present without having to worry about whether the pieces would fit into a theme the recipient had in mind.  They're neutral with an oil-rubbed bronze finish and not too fancy, so they'd match just about anything, right?
Love this!

Moving on to the double chair with cooler & umbrella, which I'm very tempted to buy! Imagine with me a walk from the hotel/house to the beach.  You have an umbrella, beach bag, towels, chairs, cooler, and then have to find a free hand to escort your kids or hold on to your dog's leash?  That's quite a load!  This might help solve that issue:
How cool is this?  It's 2 chairs, an umbrella, a cooler, and a pocket for keys/book/wallet/etc. all in 1 piece!  And it all fits into its own carring case!  Genius!  And it's only $32.95 - you'd pay that for 1 one of these folding beach chairs, even at Walmart!  I think we need one of these!  You?

...and now, on to the snark.


I can totally see how a little girl who loves to swim could set eyes on this doll and just go nuts!  But the description of this $16.95 7-piece Swimming Doll Set is so cheesy:

  • "An Incredible Doll That Can Really Swim!"
  • Her head also turns from side to side as she swims along the surface.
  • 2 Small sensors on the front cause the doll's arms and legs to move when she hits the water.
She comes with a robe, towel, flip flops and a swim cap - and she's made of PVC!  Nice!  

Pause:  I'm actually having a hard time being snarky about this one - at first I thought it was dumb because I'm imagining her life-like arm and leg movements to be about as accurate as my Barbie bath-tub/shower combo that NEVER worked correctly...
...but if Leah (my named-but-yet-to-be-conceived daughter) was really into swimming and wanted me to buy this for her, I totally would...

Ok, so that was a failed attempt at snark.  I'll try to do better with this next item.  Where should I start?  I must say that I was seeing so many cool things in this catalog that I wanted to go for an all-positive post.The swimming doll was iffy, but when I turned page 90 I knew we had taken an awkward turn.

Who wouldn't want a Military Garden Gnome in their yard to show their pride and/or affiliation?  
Garden gnomes are scary enough as it is.  Must we dress them up in funny outfits?  Military uniforms?  Football uniforms?  Patriotic costumes?  Why?

That is all.

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