Monday, May 18, 2009
Semper Fred 5k
We all know that my idea of a fun Sunday is getting up at 6am, fighting traffic and thousands of people, walking a mile through parking lots to get to my destination, then walking 3 timed miles.
No, that doesn't sound like me? Well, you're right.
The Marine Corps Historic Half Marathon was this weekend, along with the Semper Fred 5k. My girls and I signed up for the 5k in honor of CPL AKW who is in Afghanistan right now. It seemed like a good idea 2 months ago (there was a t-shirt for sale at the race that said just that - how appropriate), but I have been dreading this for a couple of weeks.
I can't remember that last time I walked a mile, much less 3, unless you count Prim Outlets in Williamsburg or Target. So I was thinking the worst was going to happen:
* People geared up in their running clothes looking at me, thinking I didn't belong there, and making fun of me
* Me giving up halfway through because I couldn't breathe
* Me bailing before the race even started.
These were all going through my head as I was trying to convince myself to do this race. I struggled with it and tried to back out, but thankfully, Bonnie wouldn't let me.
Before the race and as I was walking, I thought about Billy, and thought how selfish it would be for me to quit or not participate in this because I'm weak or self-conscious. He is halfway across the world in Afghanistan fighting for his country securing our position as the most powerful entity in the world. I pictured his face, heard his voice, heard his laugh, and he got me through it.
I finished 505th out of 509 and as I crossed the finish line, with my best friend at my side, I didn't care about the pain or rain or people looking at me. I felt the most tremendous sense of accomplishment - I know I'm not saving the world, but I didn't let the negative side of me win. Cecily told me today that I am my own worst enemy, and it is so true. I could have quit and justified it so many ways, but I didn't, and no matter how long it took me to walk that 3.1 miles, I did it.