Monday, July 19, 2010

Yuckball of the Week

I'm loving the "What I'm Loving" series that Ashley and Katie are doing, and I don't want to be a copy, but I can't resist.  However, I think I'll turn mine into a more snarky version, telling stories of those who do me wrong or make me sigh.

I'm going to call it "Yuckball of the Week."  Yuckball is the best insult I've heard in a long time and it was directed at me.  I deserved it.  And now I'm stealing it.  The things I share will sound negative at the time, but be sure that I won't be stewing over them for long.  I don't really care that much about stupid stuff like silly bandz or the GOP mailing me a survey in appreciation of all my hard work and dedication to their cause (see what you have to look forward to?).  I just like to share my feelings on some things, and would like to do it on the regular. 

This week's yuckball is the lady who yelled at me for trying to help her retrieve something she lost.

Picture it:  Sicily, 1942  Short Pump Target.  Windy.  Busy lunch rush.  Lots of soccer moms stocking up on cleaning supplies and dollar spot items to distract their kids in the backseat on the upcoming beach trip.  I was rushing in for toilet paper and index cards and I noticed money flying around my shoulders from behind me.  I had just passed a lady with some bills in her hand, so I instantly knew that this was her money, and that a gust of wind hit her as she walked outside from the store.  You know how it seems all fierce when you first get outside, and then it's not so bad once you're there?  Anyways, it probably caught her off guard and she lost hold of her money.  Yes, all of this went through my mind in that second.  It's how my brain works.

Anyways, I realized it was her money, so I sped up to try and catch the bills before they blew away.  As I sped up, I heard her two-packs-a-day-for-twenty-years voice scream "THAT'S MINE!"  That took a second to sink in.  And when it did, I thought I could either just give her a look and walk inside the store, leaving her to pick up her own damn money, or I could continue to help her.  I chose the latter, but I screamed "I KNOW!" as I was doing it.  Bitch.  How dare you assume that I'm going to steal your money right in front of your face?  You're a yuckball.

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