Anderl Tree-Removal Service

The other morning, Dave and I were walking to our cars to go to work, and we noticed that there was a Christmas tree next to our house and trash can. We looked at each other, both with a look of "how'd that get there?"

Dave said he saw the tree in the neighbor's yard (Mrs. Kim) the previous day, and coincidentally, Sonny (Mrs. Kim's appropriately-named son), was getting into his Woodstock van to go to work. We waved him over and instead of allowing us to clue him in on the reason we waved him over, he asked us 40 questions about how much we paid to get our driveway sealed. Some ass was going to charge him $400 - poor Sonny. Anyways, we asked if that was his tree in our trash pile, and said we had seen it in his yard the previous day, and he got out of his truck to come look at it. As if looking at it closer would help him decide whether or not it was his. So after his closer look, he informs us that they have a "man-made" tree, not a real one, so this couldn't be theirs.

We realized that there's really nothing we can do about this mysterious tree in our trash pile. We can't put it out with our trash, because they won't take it. We can't leave it on the curb with a sign that says "if this is your tree, please take it back and dispose of it yourself, you asshole" - although that's my favorite so far. So what can we do? I will not be taking it to the dump, because if I wanted to do that (or even knew where the dump was), I probably would have bought myself a real tree, instead of my "man-made" one.

It will probably end up in the woods behind the house - our shrubbery graveyard.

People are assholes. Here's a picture of said tree: